Don’t Just Honor Thy Parents…… Record Them!

Don’t let this happen to you: at your parents’ 
funerals, one of your relations says, “It’s too 
bad we didn’t record them. It would have been so 
easy to do. Now they’re gone forever!”

There are many reasons for recording a life 
history with your  parents, but two are paramount: 
there is so much you don’t know about them… and 
it’s the best way to keep your memories alive. 
There is, moreover, something soothing about 
turning on a tape recorder and hearing the 
much loved, familiar voices telling some stories 
you know… and some you’re hearing for the 
first time.

Here are some tips which will help you achieve 
the very best results when you do this important 
project.

1) Don’t wait

The worst thing in the world is saying “I could 
so easily have done this.” Instead of lamenting 
a lost opportunity, proceed now, this very day. 
There is nothing to be gained by waiting.

2) Schedule a meeting with your parents now.

Treat this event with the planning and importance 
it deserves. Schedule a planning meeting. 
If you live a good distance away from your 
parents, you may have to schedule months 
ahead. If so, do as much as you can by 
telephone or webcam. Don’t put things off 
just because one or both parents are not readily 
at hand.

3) Start brain storming the questions you want to 
cover in  your interview.

You should come up with significant questions; 
your parents should do the same. As coordinator 
of this project, take it upon yourself to gather all 
this material together. Understand that simply sitting 
down with your parents and a tape recorder and 
“winging it” produces results which cannot be entirely 
desirable.

Your questions should cover all factual information 
(birth place, birth date, name of  parents, number 
of siblings, date of marriage, etc.) as well as 
open-ended queries of the “what attracted you to each 
other?” type.

4) Select a good, quiet spot where you can 
do the recording.

Everyone should be as comfortable as possible.

Make sure you have a pad of paper and pen for 
yourself and the ‘rents as an aide memoir. And 
be sure to have a pitcher of water at hand, nothing 
carbonated please.

5) Do a short test.

For best results, do a test. Introduce yourself, 
have your parents introduce themselves. Note: 
it is advisable, if possible, to do three recordings: 
one with each parent individually; a third with 
them together.

6) Keep tapes to 60 minutes each.

Do not try to include everything in just one tape. It 
will make the tape seemed rushed, which is just 
what you don’t want. Instead, plan on at least 2 
hours, about the length of a television documentary.

Divide the time into sections including early 
years, education, marriage and children, career, 
and a general  free-flowing section about whatever 
your subjects want to record.

7) Before taping, write an introduction

Remember, you know the subjects, so do your 
siblings. But your children won’t know them 
very well and their children hardly at all. Thus, 
a good informative introduction is necessary 
with complete names, including yours.

 Take some pictures of your interview.

The more personal and appealing you can 
make the final result, the better. Remember, 
all photos must be dated and the names of 
the participants carefully printed on the back. 
This is a must.

9) Make copies of the final result and 
send to siblings, etc.

Of course you did all the work. That’s the 
kind of person you are. So do the packing and 
shipping too. Your relatives will be glad to have the 
tapes and hopefully recognize the hard work, deliberation 
and careful planning you put in. But don’t count on it!

10) Listen to your tapes when you want to 
spend some time with your parents.

The special tapes you’ve created should 
not be put in a drawer, never to be taken 
out. The great thing about tapes, no matter 
how far they fall below Hollywood production 
standards, is that they bring your loved ones 
to life, whenever you like. Play them, enjoy 
them, shed a tear, hoist a glass. These are 
your near and dear ones… and by listening 
to the tapes, you bring them back.

Over 50? The Best IS Yet To Be… Science Says So!

Aging?
Losing that adolescent gait? Hair thin and tending
to snow?
Got aches and pains in body parts you never knew
existed?
Feel like you’re pulling time’s winged chariot uphill?
There’s no doubt about it:  you’re getting older.
Hate it?
(Drum roll)…………..
WE DON’T!
Results of a most important MASSIVE survey
(340,000 people nationwide) have produced an
astonishing conclusion: as we age, we get
HAPPIER!
Here are the facts:
* People start out at age 18 feeling pretty
good about themselves. (No surprise here for
those with self-inflating teen-agers around the
house.)
* Stress declines from age 22… until (first
important finding) age 85. These octogenarians
are the least stressed among us!
* You worry a lot until age 50 … when it “sharply”
drops off.
* Anger decreases steadily from 18 on… while
sadness rises from 18 to 50 (that tell-tale number
again). Sadness rises to a peak at 50, then
declines to age 73 (thereafter slightly rising).
* Enjoyment and happiness DECREASE gradually
until we hit 50; then steadily rise for the next 25
years, decreasing slightly until age 85. They
never, however, reach the low levels experienced
by most 50 year olds!
These results, so cheering to those of us over 50,
baffle the experts. Are these findings the result of
psychological changes about the way we view the
world… or could it be brain chemistry or endocrine
changes? “Further study is necessary,” say researchers.
Perhaps I can help.
By 50, most of the defining battles of your life
have been fought
Remember the titanic fights you fought with your
parents, your life partner, your children? “Clean up your room”;
“Why weren’t you home at 10?”; “You can’t possibly mean to
marry…”). These have been fought, for good or ill. You’ve
accepted (or at least learned to live with) the results and yourself.
You’ve learned the value of kindness, courtesy… and just plain
keeping your mouth shut. Life, while not necessarily what you
thought it would be, is good. Talk to a senior citizen
aged 85 (the heroes of this study) and see for yourself.
The mixture of contentment and resignation produces bliss.
And so, the great British poet Robert Browning (my
mother’s favorite) is shown to be right:
“Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
the last of life, for which the
first was made.
Our times are in His hands who saith,
‘A whole I planned,
youth shows but half; Trust God:
See all, nor be afraid!”
(The complete survey results are available in
the May 17, 2010 Proceedings of the National
Academy of Sciences).